Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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