Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
