just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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