Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
