My room smells like vodka and shame
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
