The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
