there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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