After last night, I could never be a politician.
Non-Jews are for practice
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
