WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
