actually, I'm a sock model
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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