Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
