Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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