Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
