She's JV to your varsity
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
