Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
