So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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