Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
