everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
