Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
