Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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