Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
