These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
