you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
