If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
