Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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