Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
