did you get engaged???
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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