This girl is more easily done than said...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
