I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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