And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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