that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
