i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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