At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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