Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
