I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
