my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
