The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
