Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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