so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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