Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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