When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i dont even know how to be here
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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