How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
only you would photoshop your dick
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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