Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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