Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
