I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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