yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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