he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
