lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just had sex bonerless
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
