he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
