Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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