You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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