She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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