i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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