I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
