Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
