The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
