Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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