ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
