the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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