currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
