Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
