Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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